eyzondapryz
Member
I missed a day and caught up on some great action....Listen everyone I understand and see the perspective coming from all those who bashed me to high hell. I got off the computer and spent a day or so really thinking about things because a lot of what people were saying was hitting home. There was a point where I was like f**k it, I have no idea what I'm getting myself into, I can't hack it, maybe the navy just isn't for me....A sense of failure started to creep inside and I just let it....I am o.k. with my life now, I have a good job doing meaningful work, friends, family, the whole nine. The issue was deeper than getting my haircut. It was fear. Fear of the unknown, who I would be, would I be the same person, will I feel the same way about myself, etc..The answer was "no" to all that, but I was o.k. with that. Actually ecstatic because I felt like I was already changing, for the good. Now this might piss some people off, but I'm going to say it anyways. With me, my hair has always been long, nice and appealing. It was a part of who I was, a vain sense of self that I never had to think of not having. Being attractive is nice and I had to ask myself, "o.k., in 5 or 10 years when I look back on my life will I be content with a decision to turn my back on such an amazing opportunity because I want to remain cute or do I want to push myself, question everything I relied upon before to find I'm stronger, better and a fuller person." There was a point where I said no I want my cush life, oh well. Then after some hearty prayer and real thinking I wholeheartedly came to decide I want to earn my commission. I want it more than anything. Realizing that giving up a small, trivial piece of my appearance to gain so much more in return was so obvious. I felt SOOO stupid, (which I was). I don't care, shave my f**cking head if you want because it doesn't matter. It's more important to grasp the idea of what I'm doing is bigger than me...and better. So despite going to bed and waking up very sore from all the beatings I am so thankful I posted my ridiculous comment. It helped to fuel a introspective process that brought me to point "go". Hey, you never know, I may be pretty sexy with a buzz cut......