Imagine the response to military interfering when the babies want to pop out.
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Marriage during the aviation pipeline
- Thread starter Dinosaurologist
- Start date
As an institutionalized and curmudgeonly old guy, I’d suggest you consider being a little more circumspect in your thoughts on NASC. Most of the policies I thought were stupid as an ensign actually kind of make sense in hindsight with my current perspective. The assholes are instructors with years more experience. As Fester explained, they might have some pretty good reasons for their policies.
As an Ensign, I hated seemingly arbitrary musters, lack of predictability, wearing my khakis all the time, etc. In hindsight, most of the “draconian” NASC policies were pretty tame and probably a sound way of managing a bunch of ensigns who barely new how to Navy.
Do a courthouse wedding for the benefits and to cover your significant other in case something happens. Plan something with your family when life becomes more predictable.
That’s because you’ve got 4 jobs in the picture and children. Your life choices aren’t the Navy’s fault anymore ?
When directly comparing NASC to other training commands like the VTs that (until recently) would be only a few months worth of difference in the SNAs career, yes NASC is noticeably a worse place. Policies like “You can’t have your cellphone in this building or you get a pink sheet” or “Make sure you walk all the way around to the quarterdeck in order to enter the building, don’t use the back door that’s literally right next to the parking lot or you get a pink sheet” come to mind.
Sure, there need to be guidelines like a tight liberty radius and daily muster for accountability, and yea, new Ensigns can be dumb. But there are ways of enforcing good order and discipline that don’t involve policies that sound a lot like hazing.
Sure, there need to be guidelines like a tight liberty radius and daily muster for accountability, and yea, new Ensigns can be dumb. But there are ways of enforcing good order and discipline that don’t involve policies that sound a lot like hazing.
As a retired reservist with a private sector career, I probably understand better than many here that even the crème de la crème of Naval Aviation are ultimately small fish in the really, really huge pond that is life, and that a bunch of EP FITREPs don't make you God. That said, let's also not act like NASC is the crème de la crème of Naval Aviation . . . because it's not. These are the people who have to beg the local VTs for instructor time, because they weren't detailed there.
Just because you're an instructor in Navy Air doesn't necessarily mean I'd hire you to sweep the damn floor in my office. With twenty-plus years in uniform, I can definitively say there are plenty of useless asshole idiots with commissions out there.
Marine ahead you here, MATSG-21 (where you'll go when you first check in at NAS Pensacola after TBS) is currently going on like a 7-ish month wait until NIFE. Your first month or two are knocking out various pre-NIFE tasks (medical, swim, etc). After that you're pretty much free unless you volunteer/are voluntold for some random duty, pick up a stash job, or are sent TAD. Even then you have plenty of time and they're pretty liberal when it comes to approving out of bounds chits and leave as long as you don't have any training and you request it early enough.
Oh dayyyyyum.....off the top rope!
But, but, I…. Agree with everything you said.
flight_hero
Member
If this has already been answered please forgive me but, for those of you who got married prior to joining the Navy and going to flight school, Any advice? I've been married for a little over a year and while I am confident that it was the right decision based on the circumstances, I am acutely aware that Navy flight school is going to put a ton of stress on most relationships during the pipeline and beyond. How did you all balance it?
Talk to her. Tell her what you are going through and ask about her day…her week…and what she has been going through. Let her know it is going to be hard and your attention is mostly going to be elsewhere…but let her know you love her every day. Last thing, carve out one block of time a week to spend real, non-military, time together - go to the beach, have a picnic, take in a museum (not aviation oriented), concerts, or anything that is just the two of you and not your other lover…flight school. Beyond that simply remind her that…
But…NEVER tell her…
We were just dating, not married, in flight school. But I think flight school was a whole lot easier than a 9 month deployment. Either way, I think the key is to clearly communicate each of your needs, each of your limitations, and each of your expectations. It can be challenging for everyone to understand that even though your actual working hours in flight school are pretty limited, there is so much extra time that needs to be done. Studying, study groups with other students, extra sims, etc. So even when you are "off work" or at home, you aren't free. Make sure she understands that ahead of time. But also make sure that you make a conscious decision to carve out 15 minutes even on busy days to chat with her about her life and how she's doing or discuss anything outside the Navy. No matter how busy, you've got 15 minutes to talk to your bride. Beyond that, try to make plans every week for a date of some kind. It can be a standing time, but let her know that there may be times that you have to shift it based on your schedule. Show her that while the Navy is often more urgent, it is never more important.
flight_hero
Member
Thank you! I will bear this in mind.
Revitalized
Well-Known Member
A little late to this thread, but I'll throw in my .02 cents. Timing didn't allow for my wife and I to tie the knot during A-pool. That would have been ideal as I had 7 months between check-in and NIFE. Can vouch that getting leave approved at NASC seems to be more of a hassle than in primary (currently at TW-5).
I got married a few months ago about a month after checking in to primary. Had about 2 weeks off. Leave has been approved expeditiously here. As long as you aren't missing training days, they'll most likely approve it. Use the bubbles/wait-times to your advantage.
@flight_hero Take advantage of the bubbles/wait-times. When you start a syllabus, it's go time. As others have mentioned, even though you'll be extremely busy and stressed, there absolutely will be time for you to spend with your wife. Time is valuable and can be easily mismanaged. Totally up to you how you utilize it.
I got married a few months ago about a month after checking in to primary. Had about 2 weeks off. Leave has been approved expeditiously here. As long as you aren't missing training days, they'll most likely approve it. Use the bubbles/wait-times to your advantage.
@flight_hero Take advantage of the bubbles/wait-times. When you start a syllabus, it's go time. As others have mentioned, even though you'll be extremely busy and stressed, there absolutely will be time for you to spend with your wife. Time is valuable and can be easily mismanaged. Totally up to you how you utilize it.