FormerRecruitingGuru
Making Recruiting Great Again
Technically you can’t even submit an application at the moment.
Just wait and if possible submit for the next board with your degree on hand.
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Motivational Statement MEGA Thread
- Thread starter FSF17
- Start date
Technically you can’t even submit an application at the moment.
Just wait and if possible submit for the next board with your degree on hand.
Applying for designator 1200 HR Officer program, GPA 3.3, Bachelors in Business Admin, Associates degree in Business Science, Associates degree in Psychology, Certificate in Management. Active Duty E6, Logistics Specialist.
Please review my personal statement below:
I first came to the United States as a little boy, and revisiting these memories brings fervor and determination to me as a Puerto Rican growing up in the United States. My parents being the first generation to move to the United States it was a realization that the idea of opportunity and potential will be awarded to those with courage and the ambition for success. They laid out the foundation for me. I have lived this ethos throughout my Naval career.
My experience as a First-Class Petty Officer in the Navy has given me the insight and necessary skills to serve the Navy as a commissioned Officer. During the course of my leadership duties, I gained much knowledge in the opportunity to provide mentorship and guidance to Junior Sailors and lead them in executing missions on both the technical and strategic levels.
In addition to my time in service, I have taken courses in Human Resource Management which focus on finding, screening, recruiting, and training personnel including developing policies, and developing strategies to administer to employees. In this context, my experience has given me a more holistic perspective on the issues facing the military today.
To earn the Human Resource Officer Designator is the opportunity I have been looking for all my life. It is my firm belief that I can make a positive contribution to the United States Navy as a Naval Officer and with strong conviction say I am ready to face the challenges that lie ahead.
Please review my personal statement below:
I first came to the United States as a little boy, and revisiting these memories brings fervor and determination to me as a Puerto Rican growing up in the United States. My parents being the first generation to move to the United States it was a realization that the idea of opportunity and potential will be awarded to those with courage and the ambition for success. They laid out the foundation for me. I have lived this ethos throughout my Naval career.
My experience as a First-Class Petty Officer in the Navy has given me the insight and necessary skills to serve the Navy as a commissioned Officer. During the course of my leadership duties, I gained much knowledge in the opportunity to provide mentorship and guidance to Junior Sailors and lead them in executing missions on both the technical and strategic levels.
In addition to my time in service, I have taken courses in Human Resource Management which focus on finding, screening, recruiting, and training personnel including developing policies, and developing strategies to administer to employees. In this context, my experience has given me a more holistic perspective on the issues facing the military today.
To earn the Human Resource Officer Designator is the opportunity I have been looking for all my life. It is my firm belief that I can make a positive contribution to the United States Navy as a Naval Officer and with strong conviction say I am ready to face the challenges that lie ahead.
FormerRecruitingGuru
Making Recruiting Great Again
I would encourage considering SWO and maybe supply corps if HR ISPP doesn’t work out.
csmlydon12
Member
Not that I'm disagreeing with you because this is your expertise, but I thought you could submit an application before you graduate along with some kind of graduation/course plan. Is that not the case? Not that it at all matters to my situation, but I am curious now.
FormerRecruitingGuru
Making Recruiting Great Again
You’re confusing basic eligibility with reconsideration eligibility.
The person I responded to was trying to resubmit an application without making changes to their application.
Here's mine:
I am deeply committed to becoming an officer in the United States Navy Reserve, especially in the field of Public Affairs. I hold multiple advanced degrees and have decades of experience practicing and teaching within communications-related fields. I have also trained and performed as a leader in both military and civilian contexts. The broad and varied skill set which I possess, combined with a strong desire to serve my country, I feel, makes me an ideal candidate for this role.
There is a strong tradition of military service in my family, to include my father (Army), and my grandfathers (Navy and Air Force). I myself am prior-enlisted, having served in the active duty U.S. Air Force as well as the Air National Guard. However, becoming a Navy officer specifically has been a long-held ambition of mine that began at age fourteen when I joined my high school’s NJROTC program. There, I cultivated my values for service and leadership. Over the course of four years, I filled numerous leadership roles, ultimately achieving the rank of cadet lieutenant, fourth in command of the unit. These experiences instilled in me a drive to go above and beyond what is required of me. While in the Air Force, in addition to my regular duties, I served as a member of the airman’s council, a security forces augmentee, and a squadron fitness monitor. While deployed in support of Operations Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom, I personally spearheaded a complete revamping of the aircraft maintenance supply system. I was also a proud member of the base honor guard at #### AFB. Drawing upon my extensive prior knowledge of drill and ceremonies, I excelled in my role as an honor guardsman and quickly became an NCOIC overseeing numerous military funeral details.
While in the Air Force, I developed a keen interest in journalism. In my off-duty time, I studied mass communications at community college. This eventually led to my working for four-plus years as a news reporter in print, radio broadcast, and online media—work that took me from California to Texas to New York City, and afforded me the invaluable skills of conducting interviews, writing on deadline, and distilling complex information into clean, accessible copy. I would later use these skills in my role as communications coordinator at the #### Department of Veterans' Affairs.
My writing skills and my capacity for hard work and perseverance also served me greatly in graduate school, particularly in my doctoral studies. Attaining my Ph.D. in English entailed three years of coursework beyond my master’s, and an additional six years of independent research and writing. The dissertation phase of the process is something of an ultramarathon that finds one working in relative isolation, and it tested my capacity for self-direction and self-discipline. After years of hard work, and all the while pursuing a full-time professional career and raising a family, I produced a book-length study that contributes to the field of knowledge in my specialty.
At present, I teach literature and composition at #### State University. I have considerable autonomy in my duties, which include curriculum development, lecturing, and course management. In any given academic year, I oversee the instruction of more than 400 students. However much my job calls for the ability to work independently, it also places a high premium on teamwork and institutional service. I see myself as one among a cohort of my fellow instructors—all of us dedicated to achieving common learning outcomes. And this notion of organizational efficacy is borne out in our extracurricular activities—special committees, training workshops, peer evaluations, etc. In other words, my work in academia affords me the mindset of a leader/team member that I think is perfectly suited to the ethos of the Navy officer.
In short, I am highly competent and highly motivated. I have a desire to serve in the Navy Reserve, and I feel that, with my skills and abilities, the best contribution I can make is in the role of Public Affairs Officer.
I am deeply committed to becoming an officer in the United States Navy Reserve, especially in the field of Public Affairs. I hold multiple advanced degrees and have decades of experience practicing and teaching within communications-related fields. I have also trained and performed as a leader in both military and civilian contexts. The broad and varied skill set which I possess, combined with a strong desire to serve my country, I feel, makes me an ideal candidate for this role.
There is a strong tradition of military service in my family, to include my father (Army), and my grandfathers (Navy and Air Force). I myself am prior-enlisted, having served in the active duty U.S. Air Force as well as the Air National Guard. However, becoming a Navy officer specifically has been a long-held ambition of mine that began at age fourteen when I joined my high school’s NJROTC program. There, I cultivated my values for service and leadership. Over the course of four years, I filled numerous leadership roles, ultimately achieving the rank of cadet lieutenant, fourth in command of the unit. These experiences instilled in me a drive to go above and beyond what is required of me. While in the Air Force, in addition to my regular duties, I served as a member of the airman’s council, a security forces augmentee, and a squadron fitness monitor. While deployed in support of Operations Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom, I personally spearheaded a complete revamping of the aircraft maintenance supply system. I was also a proud member of the base honor guard at #### AFB. Drawing upon my extensive prior knowledge of drill and ceremonies, I excelled in my role as an honor guardsman and quickly became an NCOIC overseeing numerous military funeral details.
While in the Air Force, I developed a keen interest in journalism. In my off-duty time, I studied mass communications at community college. This eventually led to my working for four-plus years as a news reporter in print, radio broadcast, and online media—work that took me from California to Texas to New York City, and afforded me the invaluable skills of conducting interviews, writing on deadline, and distilling complex information into clean, accessible copy. I would later use these skills in my role as communications coordinator at the #### Department of Veterans' Affairs.
My writing skills and my capacity for hard work and perseverance also served me greatly in graduate school, particularly in my doctoral studies. Attaining my Ph.D. in English entailed three years of coursework beyond my master’s, and an additional six years of independent research and writing. The dissertation phase of the process is something of an ultramarathon that finds one working in relative isolation, and it tested my capacity for self-direction and self-discipline. After years of hard work, and all the while pursuing a full-time professional career and raising a family, I produced a book-length study that contributes to the field of knowledge in my specialty.
At present, I teach literature and composition at #### State University. I have considerable autonomy in my duties, which include curriculum development, lecturing, and course management. In any given academic year, I oversee the instruction of more than 400 students. However much my job calls for the ability to work independently, it also places a high premium on teamwork and institutional service. I see myself as one among a cohort of my fellow instructors—all of us dedicated to achieving common learning outcomes. And this notion of organizational efficacy is borne out in our extracurricular activities—special committees, training workshops, peer evaluations, etc. In other words, my work in academia affords me the mindset of a leader/team member that I think is perfectly suited to the ethos of the Navy officer.
In short, I am highly competent and highly motivated. I have a desire to serve in the Navy Reserve, and I feel that, with my skills and abilities, the best contribution I can make is in the role of Public Affairs Officer.
Average Monke
A primate with internet access
Might help if you spell Abrams correctly. The board may not even read your motivational statement, but if they do, that lack of attention to detail could weight negatively against your packet, especially because you are applying SNA.
Applicant123
Member
Hello,
I am new to this thread. Is there anyone here who is willing to take a look at my motivational statement and critique it. Or if you know of anybody outside of this thread who would do it, I would greatly appreciate if I could get a contact. Thank you.
FYI: Applying for Reserve DCO Supply in the Navy.
I am new to this thread. Is there anyone here who is willing to take a look at my motivational statement and critique it. Or if you know of anybody outside of this thread who would do it, I would greatly appreciate if I could get a contact. Thank you.
FYI: Applying for Reserve DCO Supply in the Navy.
1776reserve
New Member
Would anyone be willing to read my motivational statement for a reserve application? Thank you.
no_more_nuke_life
Active Member
You guys could just post it in this thread and you'll get more replies that way.
FormerRecruitingGuru
Making Recruiting Great Again
I had ChatGbt help me with this:
Create a 5-paragraph essay about wanting to serve in the navy as an officer and include metrics-based accomplishments
“As a highly motivated individual with a passion for leadership and a desire to serve my country, I am eager to pursue a career in the Navy as an officer. Throughout my academic and professional journey, I have honed my skills, achieved notable accomplishments, and developed a deep sense of commitment to excellence, all of which make me well-suited for a role as a Navy officer.
One of my proudest accomplishments is my successful leadership of a team of [Number] individuals during a challenging project at my current job. By implementing strategic planning, effective communication, and team motivation techniques, we were able to complete the project ahead of schedule, resulting in a [Percentage] reduction in production time and a [Percentage] increase in productivity. These metrics-based achievements highlight my ability to lead teams to achieve measurable results, a skill that I believe would translate well into a Navy officer role.
In my academic pursuits, I have consistently maintained a high academic standing, graduating with honors in [Degree/Major] from [University/College]. I was also recognized as the top performer in my class for [Specific Subject], achieving a [Percentage] improvement in grades compared to the previous year. These academic achievements demonstrate my dedication to academic excellence and my ability to set and achieve high standards of performance.
In my previous role as a manager at [Company/Organization], I was responsible for overseeing a team of [Number] individuals and implementing performance management processes. Through my leadership and coaching, I was able to improve team performance by [Percentage], resulting in a significant reduction in employee turnover and an increase in customer satisfaction by [Percentage]. These achievements highlight my ability to effectively lead and manage teams, achieve performance goals, and drive results.
As a volunteer in my community, I have also had the opportunity to make a positive impact. I led a team of [Number] volunteers in organizing a charity event, which raised over [Amount] in funds for a local non-profit organization. This successful event resulted in a [Percentage] increase in donations compared to the previous year, demonstrating my ability to mobilize and inspire teams towards a common goal.
In conclusion, my desire to serve in the Navy as an officer is not only driven by my passion for leadership and commitment to excellence but also supported by my proven track record of metric-based accomplishments. Through my leadership experience in both professional and volunteer roles, my academic achievements, and my commitment to community service, I am confident in my ability to contribute to the Navy as an officer. I am eager to leverage my skills, experience, and dedication to serve my country and make a positive impact as a Navy officer.”
Create a 5-paragraph essay about wanting to serve in the navy as an officer and include metrics-based accomplishments
“As a highly motivated individual with a passion for leadership and a desire to serve my country, I am eager to pursue a career in the Navy as an officer. Throughout my academic and professional journey, I have honed my skills, achieved notable accomplishments, and developed a deep sense of commitment to excellence, all of which make me well-suited for a role as a Navy officer.
One of my proudest accomplishments is my successful leadership of a team of [Number] individuals during a challenging project at my current job. By implementing strategic planning, effective communication, and team motivation techniques, we were able to complete the project ahead of schedule, resulting in a [Percentage] reduction in production time and a [Percentage] increase in productivity. These metrics-based achievements highlight my ability to lead teams to achieve measurable results, a skill that I believe would translate well into a Navy officer role.
In my academic pursuits, I have consistently maintained a high academic standing, graduating with honors in [Degree/Major] from [University/College]. I was also recognized as the top performer in my class for [Specific Subject], achieving a [Percentage] improvement in grades compared to the previous year. These academic achievements demonstrate my dedication to academic excellence and my ability to set and achieve high standards of performance.
In my previous role as a manager at [Company/Organization], I was responsible for overseeing a team of [Number] individuals and implementing performance management processes. Through my leadership and coaching, I was able to improve team performance by [Percentage], resulting in a significant reduction in employee turnover and an increase in customer satisfaction by [Percentage]. These achievements highlight my ability to effectively lead and manage teams, achieve performance goals, and drive results.
As a volunteer in my community, I have also had the opportunity to make a positive impact. I led a team of [Number] volunteers in organizing a charity event, which raised over [Amount] in funds for a local non-profit organization. This successful event resulted in a [Percentage] increase in donations compared to the previous year, demonstrating my ability to mobilize and inspire teams towards a common goal.
In conclusion, my desire to serve in the Navy as an officer is not only driven by my passion for leadership and commitment to excellence but also supported by my proven track record of metric-based accomplishments. Through my leadership experience in both professional and volunteer roles, my academic achievements, and my commitment to community service, I am confident in my ability to contribute to the Navy as an officer. I am eager to leverage my skills, experience, and dedication to serve my country and make a positive impact as a Navy officer.”
TommyGuns89
Member
Hey did you ever get accepted for Supply?
FormerRecruitingGuru
Making Recruiting Great Again
Did you rake the time to see the last time that person has been online on here?
no_more_nuke_life
Active Member
I'm gonna be honest, I didn't even know you could check that on a person's profile until you said it.
Also to be fair, a lot of younger people nowadays aren't used to forum style formats. It took me quite a couple visits until I realized why certain posts never moved up or down (because they were pinned), as well as finding out how to navigate through this site.
Sort of funny you say this, because quite the opposite, I wouldn't have a clue how to navigate a site (or I guess maybe app?) that does the things you describe. Now I feel old.