Motivational Statement MEGA Thread

[John Tran]

I hope these suggestions help. I really like the content of your letter, and I wish you luck in applying.

-Jon

Oh wow, thanks so much for reviewing/chopping up my statements, this really helps me out.

 

[Scaevola]

I'm applying to the upcoming selection board for Intel and IW. Because I'm only going for IDC billets, I took the opportunity to customize the language a little. I'm non-prior and yes, before you ask, this does (just barely) fit into the block on the ASPR form at about 875 words. I've seen differing advice on these forums on the ideal length, but my recruiter doesn't seem to have a strong preference either way.

Names and locations have been changed to protect the innocent. Would love to get some feedback if anyone is willing to edit for me!

I’ve always felt driven to serve something bigger than myself; to make a difference. Over the years, I put this drive to action in many forms. I succeeded in academic programs, volunteered in my community, and earned promotions for my work. Through each endeavor, I found new lessons and new growth. But taken together, these disconnected parts lacked a greater purpose. As I looked toward the future, I found my epiphany: I could make the biggest difference for my country, for my family, and for myself by dedicating my life to defending the United States, and the principles for which it stands, through a commission in the United States Navy.

My personal and professional experiences tested my dedication, honed my leadership skills, and built my moral character in ways that prepare me for life as an active-duty officer in the Fleet.

As a brother of Kappa Kappa Psi, an honorary fraternity for college musicians, I got my first real taste of leadership as an independent adult. My membership candidate class elected me to serve as class president and for 11 weeks I organized hundreds of hours of service, scheduled class meetings, and pushed my fellow candidates to embody our fraternity’s motto - “strive for the highest.” I wasn’t always perfect, but every time I fell, I found the will to continue. The process taught me that the true character of a leader is defined by how he responds in the face of adversity.

I carried these lessons forward into my time as an active brother, serving as treasurer and then leading as joint chair for the organization. In 2006, our chapter won a district top chapter award. And in 2007, I led a group in building a successful bid to host a regional precinct meeting - a first for our chapter in two decades.

As a professional, I’ve never been content to simply meet expectations. Working at <first employer>, I pushed my team of ten seasonal workers to exceed daily market research survey quotas by 15%. I also managed two professional interns to execute promotions for concerts and events, drawing tens of thousands of guests above and beyond projected attendance numbers. My peers and supervisors recognized my work with the <X> Award for dedication to customer service, and a promotion to Assistant Marketing Manager. However, my most valuable lesson was in learning to manage and delegate the work involved in daily theme park operations. At that scale, I needed to trust my staff to get the job done.

In my current position with <current employer>, in addition to managing two direct reports, I’m called to lead as an innovator and a project manager. I worked my way up from an assistant product manager to the role of business manager and analyst for our department, forecasting revenue budgets in excess of $X million and providing key insights for sales and marketing staff to meet their goals. I pushed the company to improve our business intelligence through behavioral analytics systems like Google Analytics and SalesForce.com. And when we needed better information awareness, I worked with our IT department to define key metrics and create actionable reports for senior management. Leading “horizontally” by influencing peers and executives became essential in steering large project deployments.

As an individual, I’m involved in a variety of activities that both serve my community and satisfy my desire for personal growth. I play the Sousaphone for <sports team> where, as a veteran marching musician and assistant section leader, I help mentor newer players while striving to excel in my own performance. I’m an active church volunteer, singing in the choir and serving on a variety of committees. And about a year ago I decided to get a taste for local government, serving as recording secretary on a task force to write a community-oriented land development plan. In each case I’ve sought to stretch myself in new ways, meet new people, and use my time to serve others.

My father, a long-time civil servant with <intelligence agency>, inspired me to pursue a career in the Information Dominance Corps. I don’t, and can’t, know what he does every day, but I do know he finds the work fulfilling, challenging, and worth the sacrifice that comes with serving our nation - including two TDY tours that took our family overseas for six years. I hope to build the same legacy for my own family. Always the engineer, he also cultivated my drive to explore and understand complex systems. This combination of my sense of tradition and innately curious personality is at the heart of my desire to serve in the Navy’s information community.

As a commissioned officer, I'll bring the same level of dedication, ambition, and creativity to my career with the Fleet. I eagerly anticipate the opportunity to grow as a leader and as a professional. You can count on me to develop new skills for the benefit of the Navy, furthering my education through both formal and informal channels. And I’ll leverage my experience in the business world to deliver actionable intelligence and meaningful results every step of the way.

Thank you for considering my application to serve alongside of, and to lead, the men and women of America’s greatest fighting force.

 

[BlackAce]

Hello all, I am going to be applying for the next SNA board. My recruiter says its some time in October or November. My GPA is pretty terrible so I'm depending on the rest of my package to help make up for it. This is my first, very rough, draft so far. I'm open to any advice on both grammar and substance if anybody is up for it. Thanks!

Throughout this country’s history, a lot of people have made massive amounts of sacrifices, many giving their lives, to keep this country free. It takes an extraordinary person to knowingly make those sacrifices, especially for others. It takes an exceptionally extraordinary person to lead those willing to make such sacrifices. I have always wanted to serve and from a young age I was encouraged to pursue a career as an officer and that has been my focus.

At a very young age my father always pushed me to be the best and never give up. Being taught that I was the only person that could defeat myself was a valuable lesson. These fundamentals helped me at an early age where I was able to become the first and youngest black belt at my Taekwondo dojang. Even at a young age, I was made an assistant instructor, and would lead classes of students in everything from warm-ups to weapon sparring. I was able to pull upon the strong leadership I experienced while gaining my black belt to develop into a leader myself. I had to lead classes full of students both younger and older than me. Using the same mindset and using lessons learned from attaining my black belt I started my racing career. Going off my father’s words, I never accepted defeat if there was something I could control. The competition was always able to outspend me however through studying technique and working on every aspect of my sport I was able to win a number of local championships. After winning a number of championships I was appointed to be the karting steward with my local racing club. At this position I was in charge of the running of the entire junior karting class, making sure all the karts were within the rules, and all the drivers had an understanding of the event. Again the importance of strong leadership and attention to detail was instilled. I got to interact with people of all ages and got to address any issues during the event. I was able to carry over the leadership and determination into sports as well. While working through a healing broken leg I was a captain and catcher on a baseball team. The team was able to win the championship. Throughout the season and each game it was important to keep the players organized and on task. I was really able to realize how important both strong leadership and determination was.

In high school I also had an opportunity to work in the school TV studio. I started at the bottom working cameras and editing video and eventually working my way up to a director. As the director I would lead all of the morning news shows as well as the TV production of shows and sports games. I had the opportunity to bring up the new TV studio workers as well as brief any guests that would appear on the shows. In just my freshman year of college I got the opportunity to join my schools Formula SAE team. I was able to bring my motorsports background to the team and provide very important insight which allowed me to quickly move into a team manager position. As a team manager I became responsible for many groups of people, including those designing the chassis and the drivers, as well as deal with the professors in charge of the program. I was able to teach a lot of the members about vehicle dynamics and provide leadership in everything from vehicle setups to different driving tactics. I was able to help lead the team to winning two rookie of the year awards at the FSAE West event. Much like my other achievements and extracurricular activities this was not an easy task.

Earning my bachelors degree was no easy task. It probably was one of the hardest achievements in my life to this date, but it was a challenge I enjoyed and am most proud of. Balancing class, semester long projects, and work was a constant stressor but something that made me a better person. It pushed me to a point I have never been pushed to before and allowed me to learn how to overcome even the most difficult demands. Towards the end of my college career I also became an RA in the dorms. This was very rewarding because I got a chance to become directly responsible for an entire floor. I got to work with residents to help them solve both their personal problems as well as dealing with any conflicts. After handling just a few situations I found myself working with the senior staff. I also had the chance to lead other RA’s in the creation and running of programs inside and outside the dorms. Again the work was a challenge but it was very enjoyable.

Everything I have achieved in my life has required hard work and determination. Something I was taught at a young age to always display. It is this mentality that draws me to being a Naval Officer and possibly a Naval Aviator. I believe that my leadership potential along with my positive work ethic and determination will allow me to overcome the challenges of becoming a Naval Officer. Being selected to be a Naval Officer would allow me to not only serve my country and lead others but to continue challenging myself to be better then I always have been.

 

[Tiffany Murphy]

Hello all, I am going to be applying for the next SNA board. My recruiter says its some time in October or November. My GPA is pretty terrible so I'm depending on the rest of my package to help make up for it. This is my first, very rough, draft so far. I'm open to any advice on both grammar and substance if anybody is up for it. Thanks!

BlackAce.. I like your statement but one thing I would add for you to fix is when you use abbreviations. For example, when you use RA, they have no clue what that stands for. I would write it out for only the first time you use it. If it stands for Room Auditor then write Room Auditor (RA) and then in the rest of the statement you can just use RA.

 

[BlackAce]

BlackAce.. I like your statement but one thing I would add for you to fix is when you use abbreviations. For example, when you use RA, they have no clue what that stands for. I would write it out for only the first time you use it. If it stands for Room Auditor then write Room Auditor (RA) and then in the rest of the statement you can just use RA.

That's a good idea, I was thinking I probably needed that in there. Thanks!

 

[B619]

Whats up AW. I just finished my motivational statement and it was tough trying to not go over 400 words. I wish I could have wrote more and expand on my last sentence but I already reached my limit of having exactly 400 words.

Please let me know what you think and give me any advice, concerns, and feel free to even edit.


Ever since I was a kid, joining the Navy has been inevitable because of my father who formerly enlisted in the United States Navy. He is my biggest inspiration because he is a good mentor, leader, and a role model. I look up to him in joining the U.S. Navy to become like the man he is today. He always told me to never quit, but to always aim for something better which is to become a Naval Officer. Because of this advice, I finished my college education and obtained my Bachelor’s Degree in Economics. With my education from college, I had gained knowledge in undertaking analytic work and research projects and had an active commitment to continuously improving quality standards when performing statistical analysis on current views and data collection. An example would be from a project that I had performed statistical research in significant economic trends and issues in the areas of military expenditure and cost and quality of living in the United States. This shows that I possess the knowledge and skills that would be a great asset for our military. Although I did not receive the ideal GPA, I have learned a lot from it which is to not rush through college. Patience is important and it will help you succeed, especially in the Navy.

Another great asset I can provide to the Navy is my leadership skills that I gained through my job in marketing and sales. For example, as I approached the second year, there was a brand new staff. I had a new manager and was given the title to become the Assistant Team Lead. When I first heard this, I was excited to become a leader. It was a challenge at first because even I had to lead the manager at times and train the new staff. It was a great experience and I picked up the role quickly. Because of this opportunity, I learned how to become a leader and learned what my title as an Assistant Team Lead meant. Without a team, you can’t accomplish many things on your own or lead anyone to the right direction.

I am blessed to live in the United States and it would be an honor to repay this country by using the education and life experiences that America has taught me with the motivation and desire I have to serve in the Navy.

 

[jus2mch]

I promised some time ago to put my motivational statement up here when it was more finalized, so here it is. My OR has asked that it be under 400 words--this is 398. If any of y'all have a spare bit of time to read and comment, I'd appreciate it.

***

My father, an Air Force Captain who enlisted during the Vietnam War, raised me to know the discipline required to serve in the armed forces; my brother, an Air Force Medical Officer, has provided me with a contemporary example. (Congratulations, I've never seen that many commas in a opening sentence before. Your last sentence should be first (I mean the very last part after the comma), and you should use less words to convey the fact that family military service has instilled traditional values that prepared you for a commission. Lastly, you only have two sentences here. A wordy third (at least) should be in place for a full paragraph.) I am an intellectually curious leader who thrives in challenging situations, and I want to serve my country as a Navy Officer.

I am equipped (equipped with what (A/C, power windows, and a new car smell)? Prepared maybe? Prepared how? All the things you listed below should be introduced first because they had to happen first in order for you to be prepared.....OR.....you can intro by stating that "There are some key events in my life that have prepared me to handle the learning curve blah blah blah) to handle the learning curve that confronts new Officers. I skipped three grades, graduating from high school at the age of 15 with a 4.0 GPA and a scholarship for an SAT score in the 99th percentile. During the same time, I served as the Senior Patrol Leader and earned my Eagle Scout award in BSA troop 941.

I am prepared (ready/eager) to shoulder the workload that Officers carry (why? Because you've had many cultural/educational experiences and outstanding business acumen? Recommend a more complete/encompassing introductory sentence). In addition to my major and minor coursework at Brigham Young University, I worked as an editor, a peer tutor, and the research assistant for 2 professors. I also started a freelance business through which I have edited more than 100 projects, including trade and academic books. I achieved Spanish fluency through 9 months in the university’s demanding immersion program and 3 months at the University of Alcalá in Madrid, Spain. I also performed with BYU’s ballet company on their US tour, while at the same time organizing independent study courses to complete while volunteering for 4 months as an economic development teacher in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

I am ready to lead sailors in (while conducting/during?) international operations (refer to maritime cooperation and global partnerships/ read sea power 21 and total force vision to tie your international experiences to Navy policy better) In addition to my time in Europe and South America, I lived in Japan for 2 years, working as a public school teacher. With local Japanese staff, I coordinated, planned, and executed learning programs for more than 2,000 students. I also participated in my community by learning to speak Japanese, giving the keynote speech for the city-wide International Festival, summiting both Mt. Tanzawa and Mt. Fuji with Japanese hiking groups, and earning Level 1 rank in the Japan Kendo Federation as a member of a community team.

Together, these experiences have taught me how to learn, how to lead, and how to dedicate myself to a cause (It would flow better if you summarize with what you've stated. You stated: " equipped, prepared, and lead" (Ex. Years of preparation through my experiences have equipped me to enter the navy and become a future leader. As a commissioned naval officer) I will be able to master the responsibilities of my designator and constantly improve my value to the Navy while leading an exemplary life, both on duty and off. For these reasons, I respectfully request your consideration.

Good luck!

 

[mrmperry]

Good luck!

What a great review! Thanks. I'll let you know how it goes.

 

[SaltyDawg85]

Just a suggestion for everyone here, take it for what it's worth because I'm no expert, but I do believe I wrote a very strong motivational statement that was key in getting my pro rec.

Consider the question - Why do YOU want to be an Officer in the United States Navy? I read a lot of these and I see a lot you listing off reasons why they should want YOU, but not so much about why you want them to take you. I wrote mine straight from the heart. I didn't write anything about personal achievements or what I consider qualifications (after all, that's all in the application for them to see already), but rather my personal reasons for wanting to be an Officer. It's your motivational statement. Not your resume. Write from your heart. If you want it for the right reasons, and can put that on paper, they'll see that.

Just my $0.02

 

[Daniac262]

Hows this look?
My desire to become a Navy Officer and my passion for aviation started at an early age. I have a strong sense of duty to serve my country which has given me so much freedom and opportunity that many people in this world cannot grasp. I grew up in a military family and I have seen some of the sacrifices they make to serve this great nation and to ensure its freedom.

My first few semesters in college were a complete failure. I wasn't focused and skipped and dropped classes. I ended up on academic probation and I was not allowed to return to school for a semester. This gave me time to think about what my goals were in life and how I could still achieve them. I regained my focus and found out how hard work and dedication pay off. I finished college while working part time with a respectable GPA. I had many group assignments and projects throughout school and had the opportunity to lead with success. I also learned the value of how to follow and if things weren't going well, when to speak up and take charge.

My passion for aviation spawned from my father who is a Naval Aviator himself. He gave me the opportunity to get up close to aircraft and learn about aviation. Watching the blue angels as a kid inspired me even more. A Naval Aviator has one of the toughest, if not the toughest job in the world. It is a daunting challenge few will undertake and it will require extreme hard work and steadfast dedication to succeed. I want to take on that challenge.

Not only do I have to learn my profession to the utmost and follow before I can lead, I must earn the respect of the men I am to lead in my profession. That challenge inspires me to become a Navy Officer. I want to lead Sailors from the front and live up to the history and traditions that the Navy has set before. I am ready to demonstrate my personal passion and motivation for success and to instill, utilize and pass on the values of Honor, Courage and Commitment to those I will be challenged to lead.

 

[Mr Spenz]

Change your first few sentence in your second paragraph. I wouldn't use words like "failure". I understand what you are trying to say but come about it in a different aspect.

 

[ladiesman217]

Hows this look?
My desire to become a Navy Officer and my passion for aviation started at an early age. I have a strong sense of duty to serve my country which has given me so much freedom and opportunity that many people in this world cannot grasp. I grew up in a military family and I have seen some of the sacrifices they make to serve this great nation and to ensure its freedom.

My first few semesters in college were a complete failure. I wasn't focused and skipped and dropped classes. I ended up on academic probation and I was not allowed to return to school for a semester. This gave me time to think about what my goals were in life and how I could still achieve them. I regained my focus and found out how hard work and dedication pay off. I finished college while working part time with a respectable GPA. I had many group assignments and projects throughout school and had the opportunity to lead with success. I also learned the value of how to follow and if things weren't going well, when to speak up and take charge.

My passion for aviation spawned from my father who is a Naval Aviator himself. He gave me the opportunity to get up close to aircraft and learn about aviation. Watching the blue angels as a kid inspired me even more. A Naval Aviator has one of the toughest, if not the toughest job in the world. It is a daunting challenge few will undertake and it will require extreme hard work and steadfast dedication to succeed. I want to take on that challenge.

Not only do I have to learn my profession to the utmost and follow before I can lead, I must earn the respect of the men I am to lead in my profession. That challenge inspires me to become a Navy Officer. I want to lead Sailors from the front and live up to the history and traditions that the Navy has set before. I am ready to demonstrate my personal passion and motivation for success and to instill, utilize and pass on the values of Honor, Courage and Commitment to those I will be challenged to lead.

With all do respect I like it but at the same time there is a lot of room for improvement. First I do recommend reading up on previous posts here because a lot of the information here is invaluable. Especially links to successful motivational statements. I had to revise my motivational statement once because it was extremely short. You have to look at the big picture and understand the reader(s). Here starts my critique and please do not be offended in any way, this is just how I help others.

First, in your opening paragraph I may suggest getting the reader to know YOU. In my approach, I wanted the reader to know who I was (age, school status, what's going on at home, relationship with friends and family, a brief background of growing up, school, etc.). Here is the opening sentence of my motivational statement: "As a twenty-four year old college alumnus, I have immersed myself into a state of regret." In this sentence alone I accomplished a few things: 1) The reader knows that I'm 24, 2) that I'm a college alumnus, and 3) something personal about me. In MY writing style I try to capture the attention of the reader. My first sentence or even paragraph is the "bait." I've read/heard somewhere that when you share a speech, you have seven minutes of their attention. If you do not catch their attention or keep them interested, you've lost them for the rest of the speech. I applied the same concept. The board has to read hundreds if not thousands of these motivational statements. Keep it short, informative, and interesting. Make it stand out. For example, your first sentence is, "My desire to become a Navy Officer and my passion for aviation started at an early age." I do apologize if this is mean, but that does not capture my attention nor interest me. Everyone applying to the Navy as an officer has some type of desire to become a Navy Officer. Maybe putting that somewhere in your motivational statement but not as an opener. You want to stand out.

Second, I would suggest focusing on leadership qualities that the Navy can get out of you or qualities that can be sharpened through the Navy. I do understand from this that your father was a Naval Aviator, and that's great, keep that. But sentences such as, "A Naval Aviator has one of the toughest, if not the toughest job in the world...I want to take on that challenge," raises this question to me as a reader: Does this applicant want to be a Naval Aviator or does he want to be a Navy Officer? I've read somewhere in these forums and I think it stands true: You're a Navy Officer first. Job second (i.e. NA, NFO, etc.). Maybe instead of talking about your passion for aviation spawned from your father, talk about qualities and trials overcome by your father that makes you want to be a Navy Officer. Also that statement "A Naval Aviator has one of the toughest, if not the toughest job in the world..." may not be true, depending on the reader, and could disrupt flow and bring about conflict when reading. If I was part of the board and I was reading this I would also say to this, "Tell me something I don't know." To us it may be important but to them it's just filler sentences. If focusing on the Navy, focus on the Navy as a whole or what the Navy can offer you or what you can offer the Navy or something that the Navy does that catches your eye and is admirable or pursuit-worthy. Focus on the Navy's mission, goals, etc., like you did with your last sentence.

Again I like your motivational statement, however presentation can be stronger. Message me if you need more help or would like to see my motivational statement as an example.

Change your first few sentence in your second paragraph. I wouldn't use words like "failure". I understand what you are trying to say but come about it in a different aspect.

And I agree with this. Words like "failure" are risky to use in your motivational statement. In my opinion at least.

 

[Daniac262]

With all do respect I like it but at the same time there is a lot of room for improvement. First I do recommend reading up on previous posts here because a lot of the information here is invaluable. Especially links to successful motivational statements. I had to revise my motivational statement once because it was extremely short. You have to look at the big picture and understand the reader(s). Here starts my critique and please do not be offended in any way, this is just how I help others.

First, in your opening paragraph I may suggest getting the reader to know YOU. In my approach, I wanted the reader to know who I was (age, school status, what's going on at home, relationship with friends and family, a brief background of growing up, school, etc.). Here is the opening sentence of my motivational statement: "As a twenty-four year old college alumnus, I have immersed myself into a state of regret." In this sentence alone I accomplished a few things: 1) The reader knows that I'm 24, 2) that I'm a college alumnus, and 3) something personal about me. In MY writing style I try to capture the attention of the reader. My first sentence or even paragraph is the "bait." I've read/heard somewhere that when you share a speech, you have seven minutes of their attention. If you do not catch their attention or keep them interested, you've lost them for the rest of the speech. I applied the same concept. The board has to read hundreds if not thousands of these motivational statements. Keep it short, informative, and interesting. Make it stand out. For example, your first sentence is, "My desire to become a Navy Officer and my passion for aviation started at an early age." I do apologize if this is mean, but that does not capture my attention nor interest me. Everyone applying to the Navy as an officer has some type of desire to become a Navy Officer. Maybe putting that somewhere in your motivational statement but not as an opener. You want to stand out.

Second, I would suggest focusing on leadership qualities that the Navy can get out of you or qualities that can be sharpened through the Navy. I do understand from this that your father was a Naval Aviator, and that's great, keep that. But sentences such as, "A Naval Aviator has one of the toughest, if not the toughest job in the world...I want to take on that challenge," raises this question to me as a reader: Does this applicant want to be a Naval Aviator or does he want to be a Navy Officer? I've read somewhere in these forums and I think it stands true: You're a Navy Officer first. Job second (i.e. NA, NFO, etc.). Maybe instead of talking about your passion for aviation spawned from your father, talk about qualities and trials overcome by your father that makes you want to be a Navy Officer. Also that statement "A Naval Aviator has one of the toughest, if not the toughest job in the world..." may not be true, depending on the reader, and could disrupt flow and bring about conflict when reading. If I was part of the board and I was reading this I would also say to this, "Tell me something I don't know." To us it may be important but to them it's just filler sentences. If focusing on the Navy, focus on the Navy as a whole or what the Navy can offer you or what you can offer the Navy or something that the Navy does that catches your eye and is admirable or pursuit-worthy. Focus on the Navy's mission, goals, etc., like you did with your last sentence.

Again I like your motivational statement, however presentation can be stronger. Message me if you need more help or would like to see my motivational statement as an example.




And I agree with this. Words like "failure" are risky to use in your motivational statement. In my opinion at least.

Thanks for the reply but they already know how old I am and that Ive already graduated and have my degree so reading that would be redundant to them dont ya think? I think Naval Aviators have a tough job and its a challenge so I want to take on the challenge, whats the problem with that statement its an NSA board right?

 

[Mr Spenz]

Are you only applying for SNA? Every board you apply to see the same statement. But nvm you asked for advice what you do with it is up to you. Content and direction was fine wording and structure need work that is all were saying.

 

[yourbones2davyjones]

Hello everyone,

This is my first post on here. I have pretty much gone through the application process, I've submitted everything to my OR and just have the ASTB left to take. My OR was on leave for most of this month so I did all the paperwork first and am doing the ASTB last (which I guess is kind of the opposite order from what most people do). I already submitted by motivational statement but I was curious to see what other people on here thought. I also wanted it to come from me so I did not post it first to get feedback and then change it. Be honest though, I'm not submitting my packet until Oct 1 (per my OR recommendation because it is the new fiscal year). I can always make changes if there is something terribly wrong with it:


Ever since I was a child I always pictured myself serving in the military at one point or another in my life. One of my first memories of school was in first grade when my class was asked to draw a picture of what we wanted to be when we grew up. I drew a picture of myself flying a fighter jet. As I grew up I would hear stories about my great grandfathers who were both career sailors in the Navy. Both of them served on the USS California during the interwar years and my great grandfather on my mother’s side served into World War II, fighting in the Pacific theater. Hearing the stories of what they accomplished, how it made them better people, and how they were able to use the lessons they learned in the Navy to create a better world showed me the true value of military service. From then on I knew that one day I would work to put myself in a position where I could honor their memory and serve our great country. This is one of the main reasons that when faced with the decision of what to study in college, I chose to major in International Relations, with a focus on security studies at Seton Hall University. During my time at Seton Hall, I took on a course load that was heavily focused on national security issues such as counter terrorism, conventional state security, and nuclear/ biological/ chemical issues.

Throughout my life, I have had many experiences that culminated in motivating me to join the Navy. Living overseas in Venezuela for two years, a country that does not necessarily share the same values of personal freedom and democracy, showed me how valuable our country’s values really are. Although there are many small examples, one in particular comes to mind that I would like to share. During the 2004 Recall Referendum on Chavez’s presidency, several of my friend’s parents who were Venezuelan citizens voted (all of them against Chavez). On the day of the vote I was at one of those friend’s homes with some of our other friends while her mother was out voting in the referendum. When her mother got home, she was in absolute tears, to this day I have never seen someone as upset and enraged as she was. After calming her down we learned that although she voted against Chavez, her receipt showed that she had voted for him. She told us that living in a virtual dictatorship was akin to “an animal in a cage.” Although we all hear about rigged elections in other countries, seeing it first hand and the effect that it has on citizens of those countries is a life changing experience. After seeing this, I knew that America’s values are worth fighting tooth and nail for and if necessary dying for. I never want my friends or family, or any American citizen, to feel like “an animal in a cage.” I believe that my experiences overseas have put me in a unique position to understand just how important it is to protect our way of life.

Although that experience was only one example, there are many other motivating factors in my decision to apply to become an officer in the Navy. Aside from protecting our country and way of life, I also want to say that I truly did something with my life. When it comes time for retirement I want to look back on my accomplishments not with a sense of how much money I made, or how happy I made some investor, but with how much I served our fellow citizens. I want to know that I truly made a difference in this world, for the better. I do not want to work for myself; I want to work for the well-being of our country and the entire world. Given the wide scope of the Navy’s mission, from defending our country, to showing the flag at port calls, working with allied navies, and aiding in disaster relief, no one organization encompasses what I want to do more. This is why I chose to apply to the Navy over other branches of our armed forces.

If chosen to service as an officer, I will work day and night to serve both my country and my fellow sailors. I will work with the same level of honor, courage, and commitment that American sailors throughout history have worked at. I will honor my great grandfather’s memory by living up to the high standards that members of the “greatest generation” set during World War II. I will show courage both in battle and in the decisions I make as a leader. I will remain committed to the Navy’s mission, my fellow sailors, and our country. It is these values that make the United States Navy the strongest fighting force in history, and I pledge to uphold them to the fullest. If chosen to serve with, and to lead, some of the finest men and women in the world, it will be the greatest honor of my life. Thank you for considering my application.