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Dependant? Question about BAH and stuff

What you could also do, what some friends of mine did, was get legally married at the courthouse but not have the big ceremony yet. You can tell everyone you are engaged, but as far the Navy knows, you are married.
 
D_Rob said:
What you could also do, what some friends of mine did, was get legally married at the courthouse but not have the big ceremony yet. You can tell everyone you are engaged, but as far the Navy knows, you are married.
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I highly recommend the Santa Rosa courthouse at about 8:30am on a day you have a night flight. Gives you all day to get through PSD when you're done. I mean, that's what I heard...
 
D_Rob said:
What you could also do, what some friends of mine did, was get legally married at the courthouse but not have the big ceremony yet. You can tell everyone you are engaged, but as far the Navy knows, you are married.
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This is seriously crappy advice. Screw the Navy for a little extra BAH, screw your friends for "wedding gifts" when in truth you're already married, etc... Seriously, if you are old enough to be married, you should be old enough to tell the truth. Apparently HONOR was left out of your contract w/ the Navy since lying comes so easily.
 
KimberlyD said:
This is seriously crappy advice. Screw the Navy for a little extra BAH, screw your friends for "wedding gifts" when in truth you're already married, etc... Seriously, if you are old enough to be married, you should be old enough to tell the truth. Apparently HONOR was left out of your contract w/ the Navy since lying comes so easily.
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No really, tell us what you really think.
 
KimberlyD said:
This is seriously crappy advice. Screw the Navy for a little extra BAH, screw your friends for "wedding gifts" when in truth you're already married, etc... Seriously, if you are old enough to be married, you should be old enough to tell the truth. Apparently HONOR was left out of your contract w/ the Navy since lying comes so easily.
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Easy killer......that BAH and the Tricare vice no insurance is not a bad deal.....I think you are casting judgement on a lot of people that do not deserve that. I had a DH in my fleet squadron who got married by a JOP and then had a "real wedding".....he got married because we were going on cruise the next month. The key to this is that it is not a fraudulent relationship. So....chill out.
 
KimberlyD said:
This is seriously crappy advice. Screw the Navy for a little extra BAH, screw your friends for "wedding gifts" when in truth you're already married, etc... Seriously, if you are old enough to be married, you should be old enough to tell the truth. Apparently HONOR was left out of your contract w/ the Navy since lying comes so easily.
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I don't plan on lying to anyone. The Navy or relatives and friends. The real question is whether or not making our plans happen earlier than previously planned would be in any way a benefit to the both of us on whether or not we will be able to stay together and whether or not I will be able to afford to keep her in school or not.

I have no want or need to lie and the money is far from the reason I am planning to marry her. I love her and she loves me. That is the sole reason I want to marry her.

What I don't want is to decide to set our wedding date a little later and find out that if we had set it sooner that we could have stayed together in the P,cola area for the majority of the time. That also allowing her to continue to work toward her dream of getting into journalism after getting her degree.

Please do not mistake my intentions for those of in any way working the system or conning the Navy or anyone else. I simply want to meet 3 goals.

1. Not screw up anything for flight school
2. Not screw up anything for her education
3. Make the whole process as easy as possible on our relationship

We have been together for close to 5 years now, 4 of them being long distance. It is time for us to be together physically. I want to live with her again and right now I am trying to do whatever I can do to attempt to meet all 3 goals at the same time.

I know that it may not work out but if I have a slight possibility then I will do whatever it takes.

I would hope that most of you would understand where I am coming from on this.

I have only good intentions.
 
KimberlyD said:
This is seriously crappy advice. Screw the Navy for a little extra BAH, screw your friends for "wedding gifts" when in truth you're already married, etc... Seriously, if you are old enough to be married, you should be old enough to tell the truth. Apparently HONOR was left out of your contract w/ the Navy since lying comes so easily.
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I agree that you probably could chill a wee bit. My wife and I hit the JOP before deployment, so that if anything were to happen to either of us - we'd be taken care of. Getting money and wedding gifts isn't the motivation behind doing these things.

I think the advice given was good, take care of your family (i.e. if you feel it's in you and your SO's best interests) first. Perhaps there is no time in the schedule for the dream wedding you both want. Do it later. We kept it hidden in order to prevent the possibility of someone feeling "left out" if you will. I don't think it's a question of honor...
 
phrogpilot73 said:
We kept it hidden in order to prevent the possibility of someone feeling "left out" if you will. I don't think it's a question of honor...
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I totally understand doing the JOP prior to a big ceremony. However, I will never understand or agree with lying and deceiving family and friends.

If something would have happened the fact you were married would have come out. Which would have added so much more hurt and stress to an already tragic situation.

My best friend is dealing with this now. Her son got married in semi-secrecy last year. His side of the family knew, her's did not. They are having their wedding this month. Long story short, the girls mom wanted to go with them to get the marriage licence...they had to come clean. World War 3 broke out. There is an insane amount of drama due to the deception.
 
KimberlyD said:
This is seriously crappy advice. Screw the Navy for a little extra BAH, screw your friends for "wedding gifts" when in truth you're already married, etc... Seriously, if you are old enough to be married, you should be old enough to tell the truth. Apparently HONOR was left out of your contract w/ the Navy since lying comes so easily.
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Whoa, first time I've ever said something a friend of mine did got called a liar because of it...

There was another good reason too, one was a pilot and the other a FO, so it allowed the pilot to get follow on orders to Whiting so they could stay together. And if they are on air warriors, I guess I should say hi?
 
The lying is what gets me. Old enough to be married, old enough to let people know. Stupid little twits do this all the time & then tax time comes around & Mommy & Daddy find out... Seriously, if you're going to get married, do it & own up to it. Lying is where the problem lies & as some have posted, the lying is where the drama comes fr. People actually do understand military life & that sometimes our time schedule doesn't match the one Uncle Sam issues us.
 
KimberlyD said:
The lying is what gets me. Old enough to be married, old enough to let people know. Stupid little twits do this all the time & then tax time comes around & Mommy & Daddy find out... Seriously, if you're going to get married, do it & own up to it. Lying is where the problem lies & as some have posted, the lying is where the drama comes fr. People actually do understand military life & that sometimes our time schedule doesn't match the one Uncle Sam issues us.
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I guess we can't all be as perfect as you.
 
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