Commence threadjack:
Kinda reminds me of this security guy we had back when I worked at the Cocoa Beach Holiday Inn. This dude couldn't have been more than 19 or 20, but he was fat and pasty as hell and strutted around like a good ol' boy totin' a beergut. He always wore mirror-lensed aviators' glasses, hair gelled up like a Pilsbury porcupine. In addition to the radio and whatever else they gave the security guys there, he bought evey belt-carryable item he could find, you know, GPS, Leatherman tool, Asp baton, and I think he had handcuffs there somewhere. His personal car was a white-painted Caprice with tinted windows and at least three different antennas on it in an attempt to make it look like a police car. God knows what they were used for. Maybe they were dummy plastic ones that did nothing, I don't know.
I worked at the pool, and part of my job was (supposed to be) to keep people who weren't paying guests from swimming in it. The catch was that I didn't give a damn who swam in that pool, I got paid the same either way.
Anyway, this guy took that part of the job seriously. He'd swing by the pool hut at least four times a day, checking to see if I'd seen anyone who looked like they might be locals."Sick bastards. One of these days we'll find a way to keep those scumbags out," he'd say. He always called them "dirtbags" or "slimeballs" or other such terms normal people would reserve for child abusers, drug dealers or someone equally disgusting.
I kept thinking, "If that guy wants to be a cop and catch 'scumbags' so badly, why does he not apply?" Then I thought about it, and was very thankful that he hadn't. I don't want anyone that retarded wearing a real badge.
Then again, maybe he did apply and get rejected for some reason...
Anyway, the wannabe is a sad thing, as is the one who lies about things to make himself seem more impressive. It seems easier to me to actually do those things than to lie about them, but maybe that's just me.
Threadjack status: Completed.
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