Here is my motivation statement. I am applying for the BDCP. Give me critique. That means if you think this statement is a huge pile of shiz, then cut the bullcrap, show some balls, and flat out say it. Well Enjoy!
Being a young child in South Carolina, I learned what it meant to have discipline, pride, and integrity that are instilled in me to this day. My grandfather, a retired Master Chief from the Navy, taught me to pay attention to the smallest detail. When I worked around the house along with my cousin, whether it was shoveling dirt or carrying bricks, I took pride in my work and worked till the job was complete. When I was a freshman in high school, I used my leadership and teamwork skills in challenging exercises of problem solving for the “Destination ImagiNation” Tournaments.
I wish to seek commission as a Naval officer because my primary aim is to give something back to the military for allowing me to live safe and free for twenty years. In return, I will do my part and defend the United States against all threats, both internal and external. Pursuant of this goal, I wish to be put in a position where I will excel in my service to my country. My sense of responsibility, commitment, and honor has led me to this conclusion and this undertaking. I am a motivated and focused individual who does not mind being under pressure and is willing to accept responsibility for difficult jobs and for the performance of my peers.
In my job working as logistics personnel, one of my coworkers trained me in the trade of painting. Though it took some time to learn how to paint, I pressed toward the mark of being one of the best painters the place has ever had. My dedication to excel in painting paid off when I was starting to get noticed by superiors and other coworkers from other departments alike.
I believe that I have the leadership, commitment, and integrity to become an officer in the United States Navy. I am a bright, quick learner and determined to learn new skills. The Navy will also strengthen my leadership skills and allow me to acquire the dream of being a commissioned officer. As an officer, I will continue to strive for excellence and make every determined effort to show the Navy core values. It would be an honor to join the ranks of other Naval Officers and to earn the label as a Naval Officer.