Would you please critique my motivational statement? Any typos or wording that I can correct?
Thanks in advance.
To: the Members of the Officer Candidate School Selection Board
From: My Name
Subject: Motivational Statement
Growing up as the son of a naval aviator who piloted the F/A-18 Hornet and Super Hornet, I was immersed in a world defined by honor, courage, and commitment. I witnessed firsthand the sacrifices and dedication required to excel in this noble profession.
My father's service provided me with a unique insight into the demands and lifestyle associated with becoming a Naval Officer and Aviator. I observed the long hours spent in training, the unwavering focus required during missions, and the sacrifices made to uphold the principles of duty and service to our country. I have seen first hand the long deployments my Father has undertaken and been moved across the globe several times. I understand the hardships that sailors and families must endure and I am ready to make those same sacrifices for the opportunity to serve.
I was fortunate enough to spend a week aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln CVN 72 and observe the carrier operations during our trip from Hawaii to California. These experiences instilled in me a deep respect for the traditions of Naval Aviation and a profound appreciation for the sacrifices made by those who serve.
Apart from the example of my father and his peers, I have been able to learn for myself what it means to have honor, courage, and commitment.
As an Eagle Scout, I pledged to uphold the principles of leadership, service, and selflessness, dedicating myself to making a positive impact on my community and the world around me. Through countless service projects, leadership opportunities, and outdoor adventures, I learned the importance of teamwork, adaptability, and resilience. In high school I had the opportunity to participate in NJROTC while stationed in Naples Italy. I learned a great amount about Navy history and was able to get a small glimpse of what life in the Navy would be like. These qualities will serve as the foundation of my leadership style as a naval officer, enabling me to inspire and motivate those under my command, even in the most challenging of circumstances.
Throughout my high school years, my participation in a variety of team sports, including varsity baseball, basketball, water polo, volleyball, and serving as team captain on the JV soccer team, taught me invaluable lessons about teamwork. Each sport presented unique challenges and dynamics, encouraging collaboration, communication, and trust among teammates. Whether strategizing plays on the basketball court or coordinating defensive maneuvers in water polo, I learned the importance of working together towards a common goal. As team captain in soccer, I embraced the responsibility of motivating and unifying my teammates, leading by example both on and off the field. These experiences instilled in me a deep appreciation for the power of teamwork and collaboration, skills that I carry with me into every aspect of my life.
My two-year religious mission to Argentina epitomized the essence of Commitment – a selfless dedication to a cause greater than oneself. Living and working in unfamiliar surroundings, far from the comforts of home, I discovered the true meaning of sacrifice and service. Whether teaching, mentoring, or providing aid to those in need, I learned that true commitment requires a willingness to put others before oneself, to endure hardship and adversity, and to persevere in the pursuit of a greater purpose. I learned of the courage it takes to stand for one’s beliefs in the face of adversity. My courage was put to the test when I was asked to leave the safety of home, travel to a foreign land without familiar comforts and constant communication with loved ones for a period of two years, and go to work helping and teaching those in need.
During my college years, I chose to study Operations and Supply Chain Management as a full time student while concurrently venturing into entrepreneurship, starting a successful detailing business, working a part-time job, and participating in A- level off road racing for the surrounding states of Utah, Nevada, and Idaho. These experiences have profoundly influenced my journey towards success. Immersed in multiple activities that each demanded my attention, I cultivated discipline and meticulous attention to detail, essential qualities for navigating the complexities of business operations. Simultaneously, the demands of entrepreneurship and balancing multiple commitments instilled in me a keen sense of time management, where every moment was carefully allocated to maximize productivity. These experiences not only equipped me with the resilience to thrive under pressure but also ingrained in me a steadfast commitment to discipline and dedication to my goals. These guiding principles continue to shape my trajectory beyond college as I pursue new opportunities with confidence.
As an officer and an aviator in our Nation’s Navy, I would seek to both lead the sailors under my command and also be lead by my commanding officers. I would use my skills and life experiences to inspire and motivate others, while remaining humble enough to learn from those more experienced than myself, including our enlisted crewmates. Thank you for your consideration.