So first let me start by saying it was an absolute hnor being a part of the program. Even though I didn't make it through, the experiences that I had were good for perspective and will be transferable to the rest of my naval career.
I applied to OCS with the intention of first and foremost becoming a Naval officer. Although I felt I was very qualified for slots within the IDC community and SWO, for some reason the NFO community decided to pick me up. I was somewhat apprehensive about this while talking to my recruiter, even though I had heard of my grandfather's experiences as an aviator. Once I found out though I'd get this opportunity of a lifetime, I decided I was going to go kick some ass.
Ground school in IFS came easy for me - my grades on all of the stage exams and FAA exam were above average compared to the rest of my class. The flying part was where things started getting hairy. I was fortunate to go to Skywarrior Inc for my IFS flights, and got pretty good on the comms and dealing with a more busy airspace. That's good, valuable experience for NFOs. Unfortunately, my flights were spaced out a week at a time due to very poor weather. It took me two months to get from the start of the flight part of IFS to the flight 8 checkride. I'm looking at my logbook right now, and I had 32 landings up to and including my first failed checkride. The numbers aren't exactly representative of the quality of the landings though because often I was flying in crosswinds, but I understand that's not a good excuse because there will always be winds. Sometimes my instructor had to help me with the wind correction angle during landings, especially at the beginning. I had a little trouble with the 'flare' at the end of the landings, too. The maneuvers were something I was pretty comfortable doing, and I was also solid on my ELPs. So I went to a Progress Review Board (PRB) in front of a few LCDRs and CDRs and explained that I wasn't going to quit. So I had an extra flight about a week later and then the next checkride a few days after that. I thought the second checkride went pretty okay, but the instructor said I needed to work on my flare more. I went to see the skipper, and that was it for me.
The instructors at Skywarrior are professionals, and I do not blame them for not succeeding. However, most of the failures tend to come from that school in particular. That's just the way it works when you're making 360s waiting fourth in line to land every other flight - you get fewer opportunities to practice.
I took the failure pretty hard and personally. I felt that I let my country down and was in a bad slump for weeks. The people who know me well know me as an optimistic and patriotic person were surprised when I just took off for a week without saying anything to be by myself.
Several months passed, and I had the opportunity to redesignate. Many people who went to the POCR board did not get retained and were separated from the Navy. I was the only select from my board out of 18 people who put Intel first for their preferences. I'd say about 60% of the redes pool people didn't make it. Sometimes, the commissioning sources don't get the placement perfectly, a lot of the selecting is based on timing and the needs of the Navy. Originally I wanted to be an Intel O, and I know that my background was best for it. Now that I have a second chance, I'm not going to squander it. I'm going to get out there and kick some fucking ass.