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1Nov2021 SNA/SNFO Board

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Adam80

Well-Known Member
KPlumb said:
I actually ended a 3yr serious relationship because of this very thing. I was not going to look back 20yrs down the road and wonder what if. I was not having any support in the slightest regarding my passion for flying in the military. So off with the head and went for it.
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Support your decision but I think you took my words out of context. It better terms, I don’t think someone not supporting your dreams is a good reason to go scorched earth. We aren’t victims of misunderstanding. We made this choice and so we bear the onus and responsibility of leading that decision to the end and bearing the consequences. Also understanding that we have no right to force anyone along this journey , as we aren’t the only ones with hopes and dreams.

Edit: if you choose this path, you have every god given right to do so. But don’t be surprised if you have to walk it alone
 
krae3443

krae3443

Well-Known Member
Adam80 said:
If your significant other gives you an ultimatum in response to your desire to commission, it’s kinda weak to say they won’t support your dreams so off with their head. Go look thru the threads where men and women who have been down this path are discussing the lifestyle. They will be the first to say how commissioning basically nuked their SO’s career. We get to fly the jets. They get to stay home in Lemoore doing who knows what.

just like we have every right to desire a commission, they have every right to not want to be a part of what will be an incredible difficult life. That’s a perfectly good reason to go your separate ways.
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I think it’s depends on the relationship and their careers. But I’m also not saying my relationship is what everyone’s relationship was or is. I’m not gonna bash him on the internet for what else was done or said in regards to what occurred for us because there is always more to it for everyone. But I think it’s all a case by case situation when it comes to relationships. But I’m someone who supported him and his dreams 100% prior to that and him choosing to work 10 hours away from me for three years. It’s all a choice though and some people their relationships can survive and others know they won’t. But I do admire those who can make it work, because I wish mine had. And I don’t blame him either because his job is great. So haha please no one think I’m bitter or making some case against choosing your partner.
 
Mouselovr

Mouselovr

Well-Known Member
Contributor
Adam80 said:
Support your decision but I think you took my words out of context. It better terms, I don’t think someone not supporting your dreams is a good reason to go scorched earth. We aren’t victims of misunderstanding. We made this choice and so we bear the onus and responsibility of leading that decision to the end and bearing the consequences. Also understanding that we have no right to force anyone along this journey , as we aren’t the only ones with hopes and dreams.
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Yes, relationships can be supporting each other even if they choose to split if both parties know it will be healthier long term.
 
amf0229

amf0229

Pro Rec Y SNFO
Adam80 said:
If your significant other gives you an ultimatum in response to your desire to commission, it’s kinda weak to say they won’t support your dreams so off with their head. Go look thru the threads where men and women who have been down this path are discussing the lifestyle. They will be the first to say how commissioning basically nuked their SO’s career. We get to fly the jets. They get to stay home in Lemoore doing who knows what.

just like we have every right to desire a commission, they have every right to not want to be a part of what will be an incredible difficult life. That’s a perfectly good reason to go your separate ways.
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Military spouses are some of the most important people in the military. They don’t get the credit they deserve for the sacrifices they make. Sacrificing is a normal thing in any marriage. But sometimes relationships can’t last when two people want opposite things. Period. Not saying either party is weak. Just different. For someone to be in the military their spouse has to choose that lifestyle too.
 
Doback

Doback

Well-Known Member
Adam80 said:
If your significant other gives you an ultimatum in response to your desire to commission, it’s kinda weak to say they won’t support your dreams so off with their head. Go look thru the threads where men and women who have been down this path are discussing the lifestyle. They will be the first to say how commissioning basically nuked their SO’s career. We get to fly the jets. They get to stay home in Lemoore doing who knows what.

just like we have every right to desire a commission, they have every right to not want to be a part of what will be an incredible difficult life. That’s a perfectly good reason to go your separate ways.
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My ex called me a selfish prick when I told her I was trying to join the military. Not saying she was entirely correct but starting to see more of her side of it a couple months after the fact (absolutely hated her for saying it at the time) ¯\(ツ)/¯ Devil’s in the details though and could see @krae3443 perspective too with the little bit she’s shared.
 
krae3443

krae3443

Well-Known Member
Tkoelsch said:
My ex called me a selfish prick when I told her I was trying to join the military. Not saying she was entirely correct but starting to see more of her side of it a couple months after the fact (absolutely hated her for saying it at the time) ¯\(ツ)/¯ Devil’s in the details though and could see @krae3443 perspective too with the little bit she’s shared.
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Lol yeah I can’t blame my ex. We are cool now haha and we both use each other as personal references.
 
J

JoeBob1788

Well-Known Member
i got married at the end of my training, but before reporting to my first unit. OPTEMPO was high; my first son was born during my first deployment, and I left for ULT two weeks after my daughter was born. I was gone 240 days that next year, then deployed for 7.5 months. I averaged being gone 50-75% of the time during my 6 years of sea duty.

I was diving, shooting, jumping, blowing stuff up, living the dream. My wife was a single mother. Bless her soul she’s willing for me to go fly while she carries the weight during work ups and deployments, again.

I don’t know anyone’s specific situation but whatever fears your significant other has are well founded. It’s hard, and much harder for them. It’s great and we take pride in it, and my wife is a trooper, but it’s not to be taken lightly. Go into it with both eyes open. I tell my wife I’ll walk away whenever she can’t take it anymore, and she’s extremely supportive. You absolutely have to be in agreement.
 
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