I agree with you.Frankly it isn’t our business to cater to any Russian angst. The stage for US/Russian relations was set by Stalin’s post-war lies and aggressions and the Russians have been sticking with that playbook ever since. Russia will Russia no matter how many reset buttons we offer because any willingness to deal is seen, by the Russian mindset, as a weakness to be taken advantage of. All of this was predicted by Keenan’s “long memo” back in the late 1940’s.
As for Russia’s military prowess, my analysis is that they are hardly a regional power and one with very poor operational and intelligence capability. Yes, they have nukes…but our cowering to that fear only feeds Russian adventurism.
There was a good biography on Putin - The New Tsar by Myers - which talks about Putin’s motivations being rooted all the way back to the fall of the USSR; Putin witnessed it firsthand and felt powerless. His rise to power and decisions in power have been shaped by his desire to overcome what he felt was an unjust end to Soviet Russia’s hegemony.