Motivational Statement MEGA Thread

[fearedengineer]

I would appreciate some feedback on my personal statement:

I always found challenges to be something that I enjoyed since they forced me to overcome obstacles and improve myself. This is why I majored in engineering; one of the most challenging and hardest degrees to obtain. However, after reflecting I concluded that though I did enjoy engineering I wanted a more fulfilling career. One that served a purpose and made an impact on society. The military is what I felt was best and for many years the thought of serving had always been in the back of my mind, and during the COVID-19 pandemic, this desire grew stronger. After extensive research and self-evaluation, I found a renewed sense of purpose and challenge: to serve as an officer in the U.S. Navy as a Naval Aviator.

During my years in college, I discovered that in engineering teamwork is essential. Contrary to the stereotype of engineers as introverted, I frequently collaborated with various people on projects and assignments. I enjoyed every moment of planning, communicating, troubleshooting, and then seeing the result. I want to use my experience working in a team filled with diligent and motivated individuals, especially in a community like the Navy.

After graduating, I primarily focused on finding a career with defense companies and ended up at my current position at [REDACTED]. I knew getting into Officer Candidate School would take some time which is why I chose to be patient and work temporarily in this field. I do find the mission of this company important/essential as we are contributing towards the advancement of the Navy and supporting our national defense. While I do value the importance of my job, my aspiration remains to serve the nation directly as an officer.

Leadership is a quality I aspire to embody, and I enjoy teaching and helping others. During college, I wanted to be a big part of my Electrical Engineering club and strengthen our community. So I became a member of the board for my club and became an officer with the role of treasurer. I collaborated, planned, and coordinated events and gained experience managing a club which was the highlight of my college career. Similar to college projects it was fun brainstorming ideas and then seeing everything come together at the end. Becoming an officer of the Navy means being a leader and one must take initiative to make decisions and be responsible for not just his/her actions but for their team as well.

The Navy has always captivated me, more so than any other branch of the military. Growing up in [REDACTED], near [REDACTED], I was constantly exposed to the Navy's presence. My grandfather, whom I deeply respect, served in the U.S. Air Force and retired, allowing me to visit military bases and grew up with a strong connection to the military community. Learning about his experiences and how the military continuously helps him today further motivates me to pursue a military career. The prospect of traveling the world, meeting people around the country, and developing long-lasting friendships also increases my desire to join. I deeply respect the Navy's history, culture, and global influence. It would be an honor to serve on a team dedicated to protecting our country and promoting world peace.

 

[FormerRecruitingGuru]

Surface Naval Aviator.

SNA = Student Naval Aviator.

These letters are rarely read but suggest you do the homework.

 

[exNavyOffRec]

I would appreciate some feedback on my personal statement:

I always found challenges to be something that I enjoyed since they forced me to overcome obstacles and improve myself. This is why I majored in engineering; one of the most challenging and hardest degrees to obtain. However, after reflecting I concluded that though I did enjoy engineering I wanted a more fulfilling career. One that served a purpose and made an impact on society. The military is what I felt was best and for many years the thought of serving had always been in the back of my mind. For many years, the thought of serving had lingered in the back of my mind, and during the COVID-19 pandemic, this desire grew stronger. After extensive research and self-evaluation, I found a renewed sense of purpose and challenge: to serve as an officer in the U.S. Navy as a Surface Naval Aviator.

During my years in college, I discovered that in engineering teamwork is essential. Contrary to the stereotype of engineers as introverted, I frequently collaborated with various people on projects and assignments. I enjoyed every moment of planning, communicating, troubleshooting, and then seeing the result. I want to use my experience working in a team filled with diligent and motivated individuals, especially in a community like the Navy.

After graduating, I primarily focused on finding a career with defense companies and ended up at my current position at [REDACTED]. I knew getting into Officer Candidate School would take some time which is why I chose to be patient and work temporarily in this field. I do find the mission of this company important/essential as we are contributing towards the advancement of the Navy and supporting our national defense. While I do value the importance of my job, my aspiration remains to serve the nation directly as an officer.

Leadership is a quality I aspire to embody, and I enjoy teaching and helping others. During college, I wanted to be a big part of my Electrical Engineering club and strengthen our community. So I became a member of the board for my club and became an officer with the role of treasurer. I collaborated, planned, and coordinated events and gained experience managing a club which was the highlight of my college career. Similar to college projects it was fun brainstorming ideas and then seeing everything come together at the end. Becoming an officer of the Navy means being a leader and one must take initiative to make decisions and be responsible for not just his/her actions but for their team as well.

The Navy has always captivated me, more so than any other branch of the military. Growing up in [REDACTED], near [REDACTED], I was constantly exposed to the Navy's presence. My grandfather, whom I deeply respect, served in the U.S. Air Force and retired, allowing me to visit military bases and grew up with a strong connection to the military community. Learning about his experiences and how the military continuously helps him today further motivates me to pursue a military career. The prospect of traveling the world, meeting people around the country, and developing long-lasting friendships also increases my desire to join. I deeply respect the Navy's history, culture, and global influence. It would be an honor to serve on a team dedicated to protecting our country and promoting world peace.

You are going for aviation, the only thing that will be read in your application is the ASTB scores and GPA as that is all that matters.

 

[fearedengineer]

SNA = Student Naval Aviator.

These letters are rarely read but suggest you do the homework.

Oh shoot, I got confused with SNA and thought that Surface Naval Aviator was the title after getting the wings of gold. But remembered its Naval Aviators

 

[hafapapi]

Greetings all would like to get some insights and see if my personal statement would suffice. Thank you in advance here goes.

"I am the type of person who takes honor and commitment to a higher standard. I strive to find solutions and challenge myself and my team in accomplishing tasks beyond expectations. It would be an honor to be selected as a Surface Warfare Officer with the United States Navy because as an officer I believe it is important to lead the team by example and motivation. I embrace each opportunity to motivate my team to go beyond what is expected of us and take pride in what we do.

I have gathered over 10 years of a handful of traits that lead to my desire to be a part of something greater than myself while contributing to the success of the people around me. I know that being an Officer in the United States Navy will allow me share my knowledge, skills, motivation, to serving our country, the community, our future leaders and importantly be able to share that accomplishment with my team members in the military. It has always been a pleasure to lead and work with people to witness the shared success and be able to know we contributed to the greater part of the favorable result we all strived for.

We all carry different backgrounds and the diversity is what excites me. As a team being able to share and learn from the valuable information of each one's contribution is what I believe will bring out the best of our abilities and uniqueness. The knowledge and skills that I have picked up from mentors, colleagues and throughout my career and education is what I value and would be an honor to share with my fellow mates. These gathered bits of knowledge and skills are facts that we can all share and be able to utilize."

I appreciate all your feedback thank you all!

 

[th100]

INTEL Applicant. Rough Draft. Any feedback is appreciated.

I am a proud American. Throughout my life, I have been blessed to be surrounded by friends and family members who value serving their country and surrendering oneself to become part of a greater mission. This ingrained sense of patriotism led to a deep-rooted desire at a young age to serve my country in the military, which remains today. During my high school years, I developed an interest in foreign cultures, languages, and the interactions of national governments. I also became interested in the involvement of the intelligence cycle during wartime after reading For the President’s Eyes Only, which illustrated the intelligence community's crucial role from the Revolutionary War through the end of the Cold War. I have been fanatical on the topic ever since, I regularly find myself researching historic military operations or reading daily reports from ongoing conflicts to continue learning.

This interest landed me in a South American country for a year in a language immersion program; I have an outgoing personality and was able to pick up Spanish quickly. Following this, I returned stateside, where I began my college journey while continuing to feed my passion for the intelligence profession. I majored in Strategic Intelligence and took numerous classes involving the intelligence cycle. I excelled and enjoyed completing research projects focusing on growing military capabilities that present threats to the US military stateside and abroad, specifically focusing on threats in Eastern Europe. I applied myself academically and found ways to be a leader among my peers whenever possible, including serving as the Vice President of my university’s United Nations Association chapter. This dedication led to a leadership award from the dean and graduating with a 4.0 GPA, receiving top honors.

Since graduation, I have worked as a municipal law enforcement officer, taking advantage of multiple advancement opportunities. I joined a specialized street-level crime unit, which involved organizing and executing complex operations. To develop operations that would have the highest likelihood of success and ensure the safety of the officers involved, intelligence was used from multiple sources, including informant interviews, maps, and technological data gained through warrants. I have frequently had to apprise supervisors and administration of ongoing cases, both through verbal and written briefs. Overall, the unit had 27 arrests in 2023, all of which I had a role as primary or assisting officer.

I was also assigned to the Detectives Division for a temporary duty in late 2023. This was a change of pace and I had to adapt to my new job assignment. I was now tasked with independently drafting complex subpoenas and warrants, coordinating cases with prosecutors and detectives from neighboring agencies, and conducting lengthy interviews with suspects, victims, and witnesses. I quickly learned that I would need to maintain contact with experienced investigators and supervisors to ask questions and get guidance when issues arose. Organization was also critical, as I was assigned a large caseload and needed to track the steps taken on each case. My ability to be thorough and accurate and these skills were only strengthened during this period. During the four months of this assignment, I investigated nineteen cases involving missing persons, high-value theft and fraud, and illegal firearm purchases. Six of these cases resulted in felony-level arrests.

My desire to serve in the US Military has recently led to me researching the options available. The Navy has stood out to me more so than the other branches, partially because of the vast mission that includes being prepared to fight on sea, air, and land. I have also become fascinated by the role that the Office of Naval Intelligence throughout the Navy’s history, specifically the crucial intelligence obtained about German U-boat technology during World War II. I have a strong respect for the Navy's history and global influence; It would be an honor to lead the men and women serving such a vital role in protecting our country and allies.

Serving as a Naval Officer in the information warfare community would be the culmination of my experience and education. Regarding the specific nature of the role that intelligence officers play, I am aware that I will likely not be fleeing from the police in a foreign city, causing incredible amounts of property damage to save the country singlehanded. I believe that my research capabilities, leadership skills, professional experience, and oral presentation skills would allow me to oversee the production of useful briefs in an efficient manner. Intelligence is in itself an asset for decision-makers and should be treated as a support role, which is a mindset I look forward to exemplifying if I am selected.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

 

[FormerRecruitingGuru]

INTEL Applicant. Rough Draft. Any feedback is appreciated.

I am a proud American. Throughout my life, I have been blessed to be surrounded by friends and family members who value serving their country and surrendering oneself to become part of a greater mission. This ingrained sense of patriotism led to a deep-rooted desire at a young age to serve my country in the military, which remains today. During my high school years, I developed an interest in foreign cultures, languages, and the interactions of national governments. I also became interested in the involvement of the intelligence cycle during wartime after reading For the President’s Eyes Only, which illustrated the intelligence community's crucial role from the Revolutionary War through the end of the Cold War. I have been fanatical on the topic ever since, I regularly find myself researching historic military operations or reading daily reports from ongoing conflicts to continue learning.

This interest landed me in a South American country for a year in a language immersion program; I have an outgoing personality and was able to pick up Spanish quickly. Following this, I returned stateside, where I began my college journey while continuing to feed my passion for the intelligence profession. I majored in Strategic Intelligence and took numerous classes involving the intelligence cycle. I excelled and enjoyed completing research projects focusing on growing military capabilities that present threats to the US military stateside and abroad, specifically focusing on threats in Eastern Europe. I applied myself academically and found ways to be a leader among my peers whenever possible, including serving as the Vice President of my university’s United Nations Association chapter. This dedication led to a leadership award from the dean and graduating with a 4.0 GPA, receiving top honors.

Since graduation, I have worked as a municipal law enforcement officer, taking advantage of multiple advancement opportunities. I joined a specialized street-level crime unit, which involved organizing and executing complex operations. To develop operations that would have the highest likelihood of success and ensure the safety of the officers involved, intelligence was used from multiple sources, including informant interviews, maps, and technological data gained through warrants. I have frequently had to apprise supervisors and administration of ongoing cases, both through verbal and written briefs. Overall, the unit had 27 arrests in 2023, all of which I had a role as primary or assisting officer.

I was also assigned to the Detectives Division for a temporary duty in late 2023. This was a change of pace and I had to adapt to my new job assignment. I was now tasked with independently drafting complex subpoenas and warrants, coordinating cases with prosecutors and detectives from neighboring agencies, and conducting lengthy interviews with suspects, victims, and witnesses. I quickly learned that I would need to maintain contact with experienced investigators and supervisors to ask questions and get guidance when issues arose. Organization was also critical, as I was assigned a large caseload and needed to track the steps taken on each case. My ability to be thorough and accurate and these skills were only strengthened during this period. During the four months of this assignment, I investigated nineteen cases involving missing persons, high-value theft and fraud, and illegal firearm purchases. Six of these cases resulted in felony-level arrests.

My desire to serve in the US Military has recently led to me researching the options available. The Navy has stood out to me more so than the other branches, partially because of the vast mission that includes being prepared to fight on sea, air, and land. I have also become fascinated by the role that the Office of Naval Intelligence throughout the Navy’s history, specifically the crucial intelligence obtained about German U-boat technology during World War II. I have a strong respect for the Navy's history and global influence; It would be an honor to lead the men and women serving such a vital role in protecting our country and allies.

Serving as a Naval Officer in the information warfare community would be the culmination of my experience and education. Regarding the specific nature of the role that intelligence officers play, I am aware that I will likely not be fleeing from the police in a foreign city, causing incredible amounts of property damage to save the country singlehanded. I believe that my research capabilities, leadership skills, professional experience, and oral presentation skills would allow me to oversee the production of useful briefs in an efficient manner. Intelligence is in itself an asset for decision-makers and should be treated as a support role, which is a mindset I look forward to exemplifying if I am selected.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

I would get more direct and to the point. "I want to become a Navy Intelligence Officer and this is why..." You really don't get to that until the very last paragraph.

 

[th100]

Received, Thank you.

 

[3onaMatch]

Here's my motivational statement for a USNR PAO slot. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated:

I am deeply committed to becoming an officer in the United States Navy Reserve, especially in the field of Public Affairs. I hold multiple advanced degrees and have decades of experience practicing and teaching within communications-related fields. I have also trained and performed as a leader in both military and civilian contexts. The broad and varied skill set which I possess, combined with a strong desire to serve my country, I feel, makes me an ideal candidate for this role.

There is a strong tradition of military service in my family, to include my father (Army), and my grandfathers (Navy and Air Force). I myself am prior-enlisted, having served in the active duty U.S. Air Force as well as the Air National Guard. However, becoming a Navy officer specifically has been a long-held ambition of mine that began at age fourteen when I joined my high school’s NJROTC program. There, I cultivated my values for service and leadership. Over the course of four years, I filled numerous leadership roles, ultimately achieving the rank of cadet lieutenant, fourth in command of the unit. These experiences instilled in me a drive to go above and beyond what is required of me. While in the Air Force, in addition to my regular duties, I served as a member of the airman’s council, a security forces augmentee, and a squadron fitness monitor. While deployed in support of Operations Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom, I personally spearheaded a complete revamping of the aircraft maintenance supply system. I was also a proud member of the base honor guard at #### AFB. Drawing upon my extensive prior knowledge of drill and ceremonies, I excelled in my role as an honor guardsman and quickly became an NCOIC overseeing numerous military funeral details.

While in the Air Force, I developed a keen interest in journalism. In my off-duty time, I studied mass communications at community college. This eventually led to my working for four-plus years as a news reporter in print, radio broadcast, and online media—work that took me from California to Texas to New York City, and afforded me the invaluable skills of conducting interviews, writing on deadline, and distilling complex information into clean, accessible copy. I would later use these skills in my role as communications coordinator at the #### Department of Veterans' Affairs.

My writing skills and my capacity for hard work and perseverance also served me greatly in graduate school, particularly in my doctoral studies. Attaining my Ph.D. in English entailed three years of coursework beyond my master’s, and an additional six years of independent research and writing. The dissertation phase of the process is something of an ultramarathon that finds one working in relative isolation, and it tested my capacity for self-direction and self-discipline. After years of hard work, and all the while pursuing a full-time professional career and raising a family, I produced a book-length study that contributes to the field of knowledge in my specialty.

At present, I teach literature and composition at #### State University. I have considerable autonomy in my duties, which include curriculum development, lecturing, and course management. In any given academic year, I oversee the instruction of more than 400 students. However much my job calls for the ability to work independently, it also places a high premium on teamwork and institutional service. I see myself as one among a cohort of my fellow instructors—all of us dedicated to achieving common learning outcomes. And this notion of organizational efficacy is borne out in our extracurricular activities—special committees, training workshops, peer evaluations, etc. In other words, my work in academia affords me the mindset of a leader/team member that I think is perfectly suited to the ethos of the Navy officer.

In short, I am highly competent and highly motivated. I have a desire to serve in the Navy Reserve, and I feel that, with my skills and abilities, the best contribution I can make is in the role of Public Affairs Officer.

 

[FormerRecruitingGuru]

Here's my motivational statement for a USNR PAO slot. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated:

I am deeply committed to becoming an officer in the United States Navy Reserve, especially in the field of Public Affairs. I hold multiple advanced degrees and have decades of experience practicing and teaching within communications-related fields. I have also trained and performed as a leader in both military and civilian contexts. The broad and varied skill set which I possess, combined with a strong desire to serve my country, I feel, makes me an ideal candidate for this role.

There is a strong tradition of military service in my family, to include my father (Army), and my grandfathers (Navy and Air Force). I myself am prior-enlisted, having served in the active duty U.S. Air Force as well as the Air National Guard. However, becoming a Navy officer specifically has been a long-held ambition of mine that began at age fourteen when I joined my high school’s NJROTC program. There, I cultivated my values for service and leadership. Over the course of four years, I filled numerous leadership roles, ultimately achieving the rank of cadet lieutenant, fourth in command of the unit. These experiences instilled in me a drive to go above and beyond what is required of me. While in the Air Force, in addition to my regular duties, I served as a member of the airman’s council, a security forces augmentee, and a squadron fitness monitor. While deployed in support of Operations Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom, I personally spearheaded a complete revamping of the aircraft maintenance supply system. I was also a proud member of the base honor guard at #### AFB. Drawing upon my extensive prior knowledge of drill and ceremonies, I excelled in my role as an honor guardsman and quickly became an NCOIC overseeing numerous military funeral details.

While in the Air Force, I developed a keen interest in journalism. In my off-duty time, I studied mass communications at community college. This eventually led to my working for four-plus years as a news reporter in print, radio broadcast, and online media—work that took me from California to Texas to New York City, and afforded me the invaluable skills of conducting interviews, writing on deadline, and distilling complex information into clean, accessible copy. I would later use these skills in my role as communications coordinator at the #### Department of Veterans' Affairs.

My writing skills and my capacity for hard work and perseverance also served me greatly in graduate school, particularly in my doctoral studies. Attaining my Ph.D. in English entailed three years of coursework beyond my master’s, and an additional six years of independent research and writing. The dissertation phase of the process is something of an ultramarathon that finds one working in relative isolation, and it tested my capacity for self-direction and self-discipline. After years of hard work, and all the while pursuing a full-time professional career and raising a family, I produced a book-length study that contributes to the field of knowledge in my specialty.

At present, I teach literature and composition at #### State University. I have considerable autonomy in my duties, which include curriculum development, lecturing, and course management. In any given academic year, I oversee the instruction of more than 400 students. However much my job calls for the ability to work independently, it also places a high premium on teamwork and institutional service. I see myself as one among a cohort of my fellow instructors—all of us dedicated to achieving common learning outcomes. And this notion of organizational efficacy is borne out in our extracurricular activities—special committees, training workshops, peer evaluations, etc. In other words, my work in academia affords me the mindset of a leader/team member that I think is perfectly suited to the ethos of the Navy officer.

In short, I am highly competent and highly motivated. I have a desire to serve in the Navy Reserve, and I feel that, with my skills and abilities, the best contribution I can make is in the role of Public Affairs Officer.

Your essay really just goes into the skin of being qualified instead of going into the details.

PAOs, similar to other officer roles, are keen on leadership and big picture work and skills. You talk about writing articles and taking pictures… those all align with enlisted public affairs (MC) work, not officer.

You ought to find + network with some reserve PAOs on LinkedIn.

 

[3onaMatch]

Your essay really just goes into the skin of being qualified instead of going into the details.

PAOs, similar to other officer roles, are keen on leadership and big picture work and skills. You talk about writing articles and taking pictures… those all align with enlisted public affairs (MC) work, not officer.

You ought to find + network with some reserve PAOs on LinkedIn.

Understood. Thank you for the feedback! I agree I could/should go into further depth on aspects directly relevant to a PAO. I am currently at the max word count, so I'll need to cut some content to make space for the new. Any suggestions on what could be cut?

 

[FormerRecruitingGuru]

Understood. Thank you for the feedback! I agree I could/should go into further depth on aspects directly relevant to a PAO. I am currently at the max word count, so I'll need to cut some content to make space for the new. Any suggestions on what could be cut?

You really can make a good motivational statement by going straight to the point. "I am wanting to become a Reserve Public Affairs Officer and this is why... (list skills/accomplishments and what you can bring to the table)."

 

[exNavyOffRec]

Understood. Thank you for the feedback! I agree I could/should go into further depth on aspects directly relevant to a PAO. I am currently at the max word count, so I'll need to cut some content to make space for the new. Any suggestions on what could be cut?

I would cut the paragraph that begins with "There is a strong......" to use that space with what @FormerRecruitingGuru said to focus on.

 

[3onaMatch]

@exNavyOffRec @FormerRecruitingGuru

Okay, I've done some pretty significant revision. Please note that the second paragraph has been reworked, but not entirely cut as advised here. The guidance I am receiving is that I should include mention of Why the Navy? and some details about my prior military service. The final long paragraph, which details relevant work experience, is almost entirely new.

Please let me know your thoughts!

Motivational Statement:

I am deeply committed to becoming a Public Affairs Officer in the United States Navy Reserve. I hold multiple advanced degrees and have decades of experience working and teaching within communications-related fields. I have also served as a leader in both military and civilian contexts. The broad and varied skill set which I possess, combined with a strong desire to serve my country, I feel, makes me an ideal candidate for this role.

I am prior-enlisted Air Force; however, my initiation into military culture was through NJROTC and becoming a Navy officer has been a long-held ambition of mine. The Navy’s longstanding traditions and unwavering commitment to excellence have always resonated deeply with my own values and aspirations. While in the Air Force, I eagerly took on extra duties, serving on the airman’s council, as a security forces augmentee, and as a squadron fitness monitor. While deployed for Operations Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom, I spearheaded a complete revamping of the aircraft maintenance supply system. I was also a proud member of the base honor guard. Drawing upon my extensive prior knowledge of drill and ceremonies, I excelled in my role as an honor guardsman and quickly became an NCOIC overseeing numerous military funeral details.

My capacity for hard work and perseverance also served me mightily in graduate school, particularly in my doctoral studies. Attaining my Ph.D. in entailed three years of coursework beyond my master’s, and an additional six years of independent research and writing. The dissertation phase of the process is something of an ultra-marathon that finds one working in relative isolation, and it tested my capacity for self-direction and self-discipline. Ultimately, and all while pursuing a full-time professional career and raising a family, I produced a book-length study that contributes to the field of knowledge in my academic specialty. At present, I teach literature and composition at ### State University. I enjoy substantial autonomy in my duties, which include curriculum development, lecturing, and course management. In any given academic year, I oversee the instruction of more than 400 students. My job calls for the ability to work independently, but it also places a high premium on teamwork and institutional service. I see myself as a member of a cohort of fellow instructors—all of us dedicated to achieving common learning outcomes. And this notion of organizational efficacy is borne out in our extracurricular activities—special committees, training workshops, peer evaluations, etc. In other words, my work in academia affords me the mindset of a leader/team member that I think is perfectly suited to the ethos of the Navy officer.

Moreover, I have work experience that is directly germane to the duties of a PAO—four years as a journalist in print, online, and radio broadcast formats; and one year as a public affairs specialist/officer in both the civilian and military sectors. As a news reporter, I honed my skills in gathering, analyzing, and presenting information under tight deadlines and in diverse environments (California, Texas, New York City). This experience ingrained in me the value of accuracy, clarity, and the power of storytelling to inform and engage audiences effectively. As the News Director of ### News Radio, I embraced leadership responsibilities, overseeing editorial processes, managing teams, and ensuring quality and timely news coverage. These skills served me well in my role as Communications Coordinator at the ### Department of Veteran’s Affairs, where I coordinated with other state agencies to achieve our communications goals for various projects; served as a writer, copyeditor, and web designer as the situation demanded; and played a leading role in such campaigns as the “###” project honoring women veterans. I continue to cultivate these skills in my current role as a Public Affairs Officer Select with the ### National Guard, where I have gained exposure to such processes as managing a communications team, crisis response, and interfacing with the civilian news media at major events.

In short, I am highly competent and highly motivated. I have a desire to serve in the Navy Reserve, and I feel that, with my skills and abilities, the best contribution I can make is in the role of Public Affairs Officer.

 

[Sander]

Hello everyone. I am applying as an officer for the Navy's civil engineer corps. Here is a draft of my motivational statement. I ask that you review it and provide feedback. In your assessment, I want you to be as tough as possible. Thank you so much

"
To the board,

When I was twelve years old I immigrated from the Philippines to the United States. Coming here presented me with countless opportunities that allowed me to build a better life for myself. I want to serve as an officer in the Navy’s Civil Engineer Corps to pay forward the kindness I received from the American people.
As a young kid, I was always busy tinkering with broken devices. I remember extracting the magnets of old TV’s to play with. As I grew up, this developed into a curiosity about machines which eventually pushed me into wanting to become an engineer.
In my engineering program, students often collaborated to solve challenging problems from building machines to analyzing the causes of failure in structures. One project I look back on was when I and four other students designed a computer-controlled drill press. As one of the more experienced students, I was in charge of some of the more intricate tasks such as sizing the components, programming, coordinating the weekly tasks of each team member, and guiding them when they were having difficulty overcoming a challenge. Due to its sheer size and scope, each member was assigned tasks they specialized in. Although difficult, working on the project was rewarding and successful, each one of us helped one another and everyone did their part. In the end, we were able to build a device that was functional and safe. It was through these projects where I developed and enhanced my problem-solving skills, critical-thinking, decision making, communication, and delegation, all of which are essential to be an officer in the Navy. It was also through these projects where I gained experience on the technical demands of engineering which include blueprint reading and drafting, research and design, metal fabrication, compiling technical reports, and more.
Being a recent graduate, I am presented with two opportunities: to work as a civilian or to enter the Navy. While I enjoy the freedom and flexibility of civilian life, frankly I find it unfulfilling. Everyday is always the same—go to work, come home, sleep, and repeat. I want to serve as a Naval officer to give back to the people of this nation, to grow as an engineer, and to lead a life that is meaningful and exciting. Forty years from now when I am telling stories to my grandkids I want to be able to say I sailed the seas with the best in the world.

Sincerely,
Sander"